Thursday, August 28, 2008

Later on, in the very same newspaper...

...comes an article about the RNC. I think '' is suppossed to be the Strib's edgy entertainment section. It's been long enough since I read the paper in person that I'm not sure if it is online only. But here is the story, How to get to third base with a social conservative.

RNC '08: Hooking up with comely conservatives

Illustration by Daniel Krall


Research studies indicate that socially conservative people tend to be more concerned with personal characteristics, such as a potential mate's religious beliefs and perceived suitability as a parent, whereas their liberal counterparts are attracted to good looks, wit and social status.

If a lady's fixing to get far with a social conservative, she ought not fear that staple of her wardrobe, the low-cut shirt -- just so long as she's willing to accessorize with a crucifix. Also note that conservative women are famous for plastering on their makeup like trollops, so apply liberally! If she's after a family man, she might consider tying a red, white and blue cardigan around her waist -- this preserves modesty and boasts love of country while accentuating those birthing hips. Once she's comfortable, she should refer to her love interest as "Boy Scout."

A fellow's job is considerably easier -- most single conservative women-of-a-certain-age are so panicked about impending spinsterhood, they'll pet pretty much anything.

I'm guessing this is probably done tongue-in-cheek, but the problem is that for folks like me who aren't familiar with, it just looks like a link from the Strib to a story. And the bottom of the page says copyright Star Tribune. So is this a newspaper editorial section, or does the Strib now have stand-up comedians doing the Lifestyle section?

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