Thursday, January 15, 2009

Global freezing by butt off

School for the kids was canceled today because of the extreme cold weather. Since the myth of global warming has been exposed by Pravda, I did my part to correct the problem.

Piled the Pink 6 and the kids into the car to burn fossil fuels up the road to Burnsville Mall. (I would have taken the gas guzzling environmentally insensitive pickup truck, but it sits outside and wouldn't start.) We walked around the indoor heat of the shopping mall, enjoying the warmth of the massive furnaces spewing out heat and greenhouse gasses.

Walked around the mall for a while and then headed to Chuck E Cheese for pizza and materialistic entertainment. 50 video games that use copious amounts of electricity, and some geared towards violence (my son was enamored of the jet fighter simulator, I'll explain to him later what wimps the Ch-Air Force are.)

After the entertainment, we went to Red Lobster for an early dinner. While my wife enjoyed the carb friendly Ultimate Feast, I took the advice of the waiter for steak and broiled sea kitten. It was delicious, and tasted more like fish than kitten. I especially enjoyed knowing that the seafood had traveled from the ocean to my plate by way of diesel truck or a jet fuel airplane, enlarging my carbon footprint.

Just for good measure, when we got home I started my truck and let it run for an hour.

All in all, I figure the Thul family did their part to burn more hydrocarbons than the average family today and hasten global warming. If tomorrow is warmer, my point will have been proven correct.