The past month for me has been a long steady spiral from the high point of Christmas morning with my wife and kids to the low point of losing one of my best friends.
Seemingly in slow motion I have watched a man that I served with in Iraq and known for more than a decade tear his life apart.
In Iraq the rules were pretty simple. If a target does A, then you do B. If he proceeds to C, then you do D. Easy enough that even a 18 year old kid can understand.
But back in civilian life, there are no nice easy rules. Are my friends emotional problems caused by our time in Iraq? Or were they there all along just simmering beneath the surface? I'll probably never know. Nor will I ever be able to say for sure if I did enough to help or if I tried to do too much.
All that I do know is how much I miss my friend.